All Dressed Up Nowhere To Go

Can I just tell you that my house is clean AND my husband is out of town. Those two things don't happen simultaneously very often. That is why, my friends, we were dressed and ready to go at 8:30 this morning. Even as I was pulling out of the driveway, I had no clear picture of what my day was going to look like. "Where are we going, mommy?" Good question! "I don't know, honey, won't this be a fun adventure?" There was absolutely no way we were spending the day home. Do you know what days at home look like at my house? I have tried the pull-out-one-toy-at-a-time approach. Not only is this a LOT of work for me, it seems the majority of my time is spent directing the clean up before the next thing can be taken down. Plus, this approach includes a lot of arguing and fighting between the kids. If I want my children to play peacefully for hours on end, the rooms have to get trashed! They will pull every toy out of the closet and put it in one big pile in their "fort" and sit there reading quietly every book in their room which is now off the shelf and also in their "fort". I will peak in there and even as it's happening I am torn between total annoyance that I just cleaned their room and total delight that they are playing so nicely together. (I know you "Growing Kids" readers are nodding your heads thinking I have allowed my children too much freedom. But this is a choice I gladly make!) This is not the choice I was making on this day, however! I had some idea that if the times worked out we would end up at the library for story time. We did make it and it was a proud mom moment for me, I must say. We talked before we got there about what I expected of their behavior in the library. This would be no different than the conversation I had with them before we went into the doctors office Monday about my expectations of their behavior. (That one didn't pan out so well for me.) Well, this morning in the library, it actually did. I was having to work hard not to have this shocked and amazed look on my face about how well mannered they were acting. I tried to pull off the confident disposition of, "Oh yes, my children always act like this!" There were like twenty 2-4 year olds at this story time and almost all of them were running around or trying to touch the book the lady was reading. My children sat there criss cross applesauce and didn't move the entire story time. I praised them like crazy when we got to the car. At one point, Amelia even looked at me confused by all the praise she was getting. Was it so odd that I actually did what you asked of me, mom?

A conversation with my friend Stacie yesterday, reminded me of how hard raising children actually is. I don't mean like getting through the day-to-day is hard. Not at all. Even days that are filled with drama like my Monday are not so hard to get through if getting through is the sole purpose. My purpose is raising children that love the Lord and have values and morals that glorify Him through their lives. This is where the difficult part comes in. I re-remembered how intentional your training must be at every moment. For instance, if I want my children to act well in the doctors office, then I must spend time on regular ordinary days training them how to sit on a chair and look at a book. Maybe it starts out with 30 seconds and I have to build up to the twenty minutes that I actually need. If I want my children to sit quietly at a restaurant after they are done eating while Jason and I talk to the other adults, then I need to start working on that each night at the dinner table instead of letting them get down to go play. It is these times of non-conflict that I must remember to train my children. And not for the pride that comes with having children that behave. But, for the purpose of developing in them self-control, respect, and kindness that will show others the benefit of being in a relationship with Jesus. It is especially difficult when I myself still struggle with self-control and other ugly parts of who I am. But, that is another blog for another time. For now, I celebrate the small victories like a successful, unstressful story time.